10 Things Every Women Needs To Know – Caitlin McCarthy
I am super excited to introduce you to Caitlin McCarthy. I have followed Caitlin online for a while and now luckily enough to call her a friend. This gorgeous female radiates, and I mean really RADIATES contagious girl power and spark.
Caitlin McCarthy is an Accredited Nutritionist, Transformational Coach and founder of The Sensual Shift. She works with women all over the world and teaches them to connect to their desires, trust their intuition and live their TRUTH. Her movement inspires women to create abundance by owning their exquisite beauty & strength.
I asked Caitlin to share with us 10 Things Every Women Needs To Know!! .. but before we get into that, here’s a bit more about Caitlin and her journey.
Name: Caitlin McCarthy
The 3 things you do upon waking:
First I express gratitude for my day! While I’m still in bed (you know the half-asleep state just before you open your eyes), I’ll say something like “Thank you so much for this awesome day!”
Second, I’ll take a hot minute to actually get out of bed! I visualise the day ahead (basically setting an intention – me enjoying my day, feeling purposeful, laughing – all the good stuff)!
Third thing I do is head to the kitchen and have either a fresh vegie juice or warm water with lemon.
I start how I mean to continue – relaxed & in flow. I don’t like to ‘jolt’ myself out of sleep, it’s so peaceful there (I don’t set an alarm unless it’s absolutely necessary)! It’s the seemingly small, simple things that count and this routine is such a nourishing and grounding way to start my day.
Your favourite book?
Oooo … do I have to pick just one?
I just finished reading ‘The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k by Sarah Knight. It’s absolute GOLD and I’m telling everyone, everywhere about it! (So – go get it!) Super hilarious, whilst also giving real and awesome tips for real life!
Tell us a bit about your journey and why you are so passionate about what you do?
I grew up in one of those ‘healthy’ households. I was that kid at school with the ‘weird’ lunch – a cheese, carrot & sultana sandwich on brown bread, an apple and some nuts – and all I wanted was a Nutella sandwich on Tip-top, some chippies & a biscuit! While I didn’t love it a lot of the time when I was a kid, I’m very thankful for my upbringing now! I was always encouraged to be active (not to ridiculous extremes though!) and so grew up dancing, playing basketball & cricket and just generally loving moving my body!
I studied food & cooking all through high school and when I was about 15, I started to really get into the ‘healthy’ side of food. I’d gone to a naturopath for help with some hormonal issues, and she put me on an elimination diet. And from there my life kind of turned upside down! I developed an INTENSE eating disorder, which consumed my life for over 10 years. Orthorexia Nervosa, which isn’t ‘officially’ an eating disorder (but is ridiculously common these days!), was what I developed – the ‘anorexic’ form of it – so basically I became more and more restrictive with my food, trying to have the ‘perfect’ diet, which lead me to lose more and more weight, and myself in the process.
During that time I studied to become a Nutritionist, which made it even easier for me to justify all the things I was cutting out of my diet – gluten, dairy, sugar, non-organic foods etc – or HAD to have in my diet (otherwise the world would end!). It was impossible to go out to eat and I was constantly anxious because I was putting myself under SO much pressure to get my food ‘right’! I’d be stressing about the amount of sugar in everything (!!), whether I’d had protein in every meal and snack, had I had enough vegetables that day (and had I had the same vegetable twice? Because if I had – that was a wasted opportunity to have another different vegetable that day!) .. and so it went on – I’d stress about Every. Single. Little. Thing! I would also go for ‘runs’ around my neighbourhood to compensate for what I’d eaten. I remember a few times where I was actually crying throughout the entire run because I felt so out of control and helpless!
Just after I finished my Nutrition studies, my Dad was diagnosed with cancer. My Mum and I looked after him at home until he passed away, 8 months later. Then a week after my 21st birthday, my Mum was diagnosed with cancer. I looked after her at home until she passed away. They died 1 year and 2 weeks apart. I’m an only child, and any family I have is overseas.
I was completely disillusioned – one of my parents been ‘healthy’, eaten really well & exercised (done all the ‘right’ things), and died .. while the other had smoked most of their life, gotten all the ‘right’ cancer treatments, and also died. What did I study Nutrition for if it didn’t help my parents during their lives OR during their sickness?
My eating disorder intensified and, while I was doing my best to deal with my new life, I wasn’t coping. Cue binge eating – my body just couldn’t function the way it had anymore, and I put on nearly 30kg in just a few months .. going from almost my lowest weight to my heaviest ever. Once my boyfriend had gone to bed I would eat anything & everything in sight – nearly every night (and although what I considered junk, was super healthy to other people. I felt completely out of control of my body, my food and my life and I didn’t know what to do! I tried to restrict again (my body revolted), do month-long detoxes (my body said ‘NO’), quit sugar (nope – totally just rebounded even worse) .. you name it, I tried it.
In my quest for answers (read *control*) I studied Eating Psychology & Personal Training. I was already a Nutritionist – I knew what I ‘should’ be eating and I loved ‘healthy’ food – but I just couldn’t stick to it, and I didn’t know why. It was when I studied Eating Psychology that my healing truly started. I learnt what my eating disorder was TRULY about, why I couldn’t ‘control’ myself anymore and that I didn’t actually have a ‘food problem’.
So why am I so passionate about what I do?
Because there are WAY too many women being controlled by food, body-hate & ‘not enough-ness’ ..
Feeling like they’re ‘broken’, can’t be ‘fixed’ & not asking for what they truly want, because they don’t feel they deserve it ..
Thinking they’re ugly, unworthy and can’t go for what they really want because they won’t get it anyway ..
I’ve been in that place of ‘stuck-ness’. I know it intimately, it was my life for more than 10 years .. and it is soul-crushing.
I now know what it’s like on the other side and it’s beautiful.
I love food, health and nutrition, but the dogma and religion that surrounds it these days is ridiculous. Each person is unique & beautiful and that means their every day needs (food, movement, rest, socializing, everything) are different too! There is no need for competition – especially between women .. we’re sisters!
I help women tune into their own truth, beauty & strength and it’s from this place of self-love & enoughness that magic, miracles and healing happens! I love it – women are SO amazing!! <3
10 Things Every Women Needs To Know
1. You are beautiful, worthy, deserving & ENOUGH.
There is nothing that you need to do/change/manipulate in order to BE beautiful, worthy, deserving and enough! I’m sure you’ve heard this before .. and I’m telling you again. There’s a reason why I chose to make this my first point – because it’s true!!
2. Pleasure is NOT bad or wrong.
We’ve been taught as women that to feel good is selfish and wrong – that we should feel guilty, especially if it’s at the ‘expense’ of others (meaning, if you prioritise your own needs and pleasure over others). It’s not. That’s a lie. It keeps you small and feeling shame – for nothing!! Which leads me to my next point ..
3. If you’re not happy, no one’s happy and YOU are the only person that can make you truly happy.
When you’re doing everything for everyone else, not taking care of your own needs and your own pleasure (as a priority) – putting yourself last, you become resentful. Think about it for a second – if you’re not happy, odds are you somehow take it out on someone or something and not necessarily on purpose (maybe you snap at your boyfriend or you’re rude to the shop assistant for ‘no reason’?). Allow yourself to figure out what makes you happy and go do it – no one else can do it for you!
4. There is NO such thing as flaws.
A flaw is an imperfection or a defect that ‘spoils’ something. No human is defective or ‘spoilt’ because they’re ‘imperfect’ – they’re a unique work of art that’s beautiful in their own right. So while this may be true for a vase or a painting (although, I even question that – art is subjective right?) .. it certainly isn’t true for your gorgeous self!
5. If you’re scared – that’s ok!!
That thing you want to do? You GOTTA go do it! Courage is cultivated – no one is born with 100% faith in themselves for every aspect of their lives! With each baby step towards your dream (and sometimes those ‘cha-cha’ steps backwards) you gain more courage. Through aligned action, you realise just how brave and strong you really are!
6. Asking for help is a strength not a weakness!
We’re not meant to do everything by ourselves, and by doing so we just keep ourselves stuck in a place we don’t want to be. It could be something seemingly ‘small’ like asking for help around the house, or something ‘big’ like seeking out a professional to help you in your life or business – the ‘thing’ doesn’t really matter. If you’re unable to do something, feel overwhelmed or don’t know the answers, by asking for help you are saying ‘I am worth it. My dreams are worth it. My life is worth it.’
7. Laughing, dancing & breathing (yep – really breathing!) can fix nearly anything!
Quick-fixes, diets, cleanses, challenges and punishing your body is not the answer.
Changing your food/body/house/exercise routine etc will not magically make your life better. Pushing your body to the point of exhaustion every single time you exercise (‘no pain, no gain’ and ‘go hard or go home’ are SO 2010) will not guarantee you a body like Megan Gale. Loving yourself enough to realise that you don’t have a ‘food problem’ (it’s just a symptom) and that it’s time to try a different approach, one that really honours all aspects of your beautiful female self (emotions, hormones and all)? That is the answer! <3
8. Perfection is a MYTH.
And perfectionism is a coping mechanism and an excuse. When you feel out of control of something (or some things) in your life, ‘being a perfectionist’ gives you a false sense of control, keeps you ‘safe’ (but makes life miserable because you’ll never be ‘enough’) and ultimately keeps you stuck – not ok! Our lives are meant to be filled with joy, purpose, flow and love!
9. You’re NOT ‘broken’ and you do NOT need to be ‘fixed’.
Also – you are not ‘fundamentally flawed’. When you ‘try’ to make any changes from the place of ‘I’m broken, I need to fix me’ you MUST use your willpower to motivate you! As humans, we only have a limited amount of willpower, and using that as our source of motivation, it’s only a matter of time before our efforts fail. However, wanting to change certain aspects of yourself or your environment from a place of self-love because deep down you know you deserve better? That’s when the inspiration hits, you actually want to make changes and you genuinely enjoy the process!
10. You CAN trust yourself.
There is not ONE other person that can make better decisions for you than YOU! Absolutely, ask for help, seek opinions & advice from experts and people you trust. Just remember those little nudges & whispers you get when you’re quiet and you allow yourself to listen – they are your ultimate Nutritionist/beauty guru/life coach/boss/business partner!
Connect with Caitlin:
Thanks Caitlin for sharing with us at BareVitality xx